Diary of Jigar Balani

Life Fundas

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 22:30:59 +0530

Live life justly.
Do not mess with others unnecessarily.
Be a good person on whom others can rely.
First others problem, then your problem.
Always burn your ego if it gets out of limit and you
will experience a new lease of life.
Smile because it releases necessary chemicals to
handle the situation.
Pursue your goals with all your will single line
determination.
Keep in mind that your action do not hurt others.
Remove your treat the poison of your body / mind to
remain alive in your life.
All days are not same, each day is a new day. But
always start the day with a pleasant smile, cool mind and a golden heart.
Never think bad for anybody.
Thank God whatever you get.
There is always some good waiting at the turn of the
road. So have patience even if your current road is full of potholes.
Some things
happen from time to time, so wait for suitable time.
Do not amplify bad or ill. Try to suppress / remove
it from deviating you from it. It is not always to find evil. Evil is our
mind.
God really made the world a beautiful place to live.
HaHaHa HaHaHa HaHaHa HaHaHa HaHaHa HaHaHa, just
cannot stop laughing, its always good for health and soul and it lessens
your pain.
Do not get stuck at any point of life, good or bad,
because time is always moving and so is your breath.
Memories are to cherish and not to live by.
Full force of emotion harms you more than your enemy.
Keep you head cool and heart clean.
God has made you with lots of efforts. Do not make
his efforts look in vain. Fulfill all the objectives from his point of
view and not yours. J
Do not amplify truth if it is of no worth. It will
only hurt somebody and damage your reputation.
Many things look good only if they are unreal.
Put your objectives of life aside and live some
moments of your life for your own self. Its really worthwhile and amazing,
but come back fast because life without objective leads no where.
Be silent because it is necessary for re-silence.
Make always a sincere effort to make someone smile
from his / her heart.
Always take care you do not hurt any one by your
action / words and deeds.
You can do anything but keep yourself so conscious
that you hear your heart and follow it, because it will lead to you right
way, either way.
First do your job at par and then distribute advice to
others.
Be flexible and ready for changes.

Acheiving CCNA Certification

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:39:47 +0530

Hey Buddies,
Best of luck so that you can start on your way to become a CCNA.

You would require (in sequence):
1.Sybex CCNA, 640-801 (author:todd lamle) : Buy this book
2.Boson Simulator
3.Testking v114

4.Testinside
5.Pass4surev2.83

Steps to ccna study
1. Prepare a base by reading Sybex twice
2. Do hands on Boson, complete all scenarios
3. Complete Testking

4.Then Testinside [V.V. Imp]
5. Testinsde blog [V.V. Imp], http://testinside.blogspot.com/2007/04/vtp-sim.html [complete
all topics]
6. Pass4sure tests [
V.V. Imp]

I have the associated material in case you are ready to put in the required efforts. If you are not able to search that on internet, just revert back to me.

Put all the required stuff in your head and you are ready to rock!

Take 1 week leave and put in your best effors and you will see the sun shining all the way. Its
easy dude, if I can do it, anybody can do it.

Revert back if any problem.

Santa Singh at KBC

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:50:34 +0530

Amitabh : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke leye yeh raha apke samne..

Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.

Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan

ON Computer Screen:

A. Amitabh Bacchan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav

C. Azaruddin D. General Perverz Musharaff .

Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ? ( He is quite sure that Santa will opt
for A)

But Santa is still confused.

Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..50:50 and phone a friend.

Santa: I think it is A, but am not sure.

Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm ap kya karna chahenge?

Santa : I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -

B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.

C. Moh. Azharuddin.

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made
this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on.

Now Santa is confused.

Santa: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..

Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?

Santa : "Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga...."

Amitabh Fainted !!!!!

And the call is now connected to Jayabachan and listen ......

Santa asked the question to Jaya.

Santa : " Jayaji , Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan ?

Jaya Bachan: Give me the options!!!!!!

Facts about women !!!

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:49:58 +0530

** Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

** Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

** Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

** Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

** Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

** Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

** Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

** Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

** Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

** Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

** Women think all beer is the same.

** Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

** Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

** Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"

** Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

** The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

** A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

** Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

** PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

** The first naked man women see is "Ken".

** Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

** "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman- language than it does in man- language.

** All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

** If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

** Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

** If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

** Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

** Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

** Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

** Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

** The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"

Amazing Size facts!

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:40:57 +0530

Amazing Size facts!

1. The oldest national flag still in existence, that of Denmark, dates back to the 13th century

2. The longest movie made lasts 85 hours and is fittingly titled "The Cure for Insomnia.

3. The world's highest cricket ground is in Chail (HP), India, 2444 mts above sea level.

4. The most common disease in the world is tooth decay

5. Ninety percent of all species that have become extinct have been birds

6. The youngest Pope was 11 years old.

7. The quickest ascent of Everest, in 10 hours, 56 minutes, was achieved by Sherpa Lhakpa Gelu

8. The longest fence in the world is in Australia and it runs for over 3,436 miles (5,530 km)

9. The country with the most Post offices is India with over 152,792 compared with just over 38,000 in the United States.

Building Relationship

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:34:55 +0530

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
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NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
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NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
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RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
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PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
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BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Male Styling

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:11:08 +0530

What does it take to be the 'man of the moment' when it comes to style?

Be it a formal do, a night out at your favorite disco or a house party, how do you decide what's 'appropriate' for the occasion?

"Style is all about being comfortable in whatever you wear; it's about being able to carry it off," says designer Bhavi Bhagat, who has her own boutique, Khayal, in Mumbai.

"That's why I don't insist that women wear kurtis and men, short shirts just because they are in," she adds.

Let's, instead, start with the basics of how to dress right for any occasion -- be it a formal, casual or semi-formal do.

The type of clothes you should wear depends on your body structure and body contour.

If you are short

Don'ts: No shoes with built-in heels or high cowboy boots.

Avoid horizontal stripes. Shirts should end above your trouser pocket.

Stay away from heavily shoulder padded suits or jackets.

Dos: Go for vertical patterns, stripes, single-breasted jackets, straight-leg trousers or jeans, and narrow ties.

Let your suits and jackets be slightly padded on the shoulders. Make sure the shoulders do not protrude outwards, but curve slightly downwards off the shoulders.

If you are tall

Don'ts: No pinstripe suits and vertical stripes.

Make sure your jackets do not end at the waist (they should end lower). No extra-thin ties either. And no tapering trousers or jeans.

Avoid over-sized shirts. Make sure the length of your sleeve does not extend beyond your wrist.

Dos: Think about longer jackets, double-breasted suits (the overlapping kind that Amitabh Bachchan wears in Kaun Banega Crorepati) and trousers with a low waist.

Go for T-shirts or shirts that are a little loose; preferably, tuck them in.

If it's a casual occasion, you could roll up your sleeves till your wrists to make your shoulders look broader.

If you are bulky

Don'ts: Do not wear round neck T-shirts.

When you are wearing a shirt, don't show your collarbone. Do not tuck your shirt in. Also, don't wear horizontal stripes or tight clothes.

Dos: Wear V-necks, jumpers or shirts with a vertical pattern, shirts with narrow or open collars, ties in a single discreet colour, subtle pinstripes (the stripes should not stand out or look too loud) and jackets with three or even four buttons.

Wear full sleeved T-shirts. Do not roll up the sleeves.

Neither tall, short nor bulky?

"Both vertical and horizontal stripes should be used as much as possible by people who have average body structures as they are good balancing factors," says Shefali Shah, a student of fashion design from the National Institute of Fashion Technology.

COLOURS

Colour plays an important role when it comes to choosing your attire. Here are some basic rules:

~ A colour for every occasion

Pick a colour that suits the occasion, says Bhavi.

For a formal occasion, stick to earthy colours like browns, beiges and greens if you decide to go in for Indian formals.

For Western formals, opt for colours like grey, white, beige, etc.

A casual affair? Then go for brighter hues like dark pink, mauve, deep red, electric blue, etc.

If the function/ event is held during the day, go for lighter shades. Choose darker colours if you are attending a function/ event/ party that will be held at night.

~ Get into your skin

Analyse what colours go best with your complexion.

Men with darker complexions and hair look better in clear and rich colours. Fashion designer Meera Mittal suggests black, chocolate brown, rust, olive, navy, tan (sand) and dark beige, to name a few.

If you have a lighter complexion, you can carry off any colour.

However, darker colour tones would suit a fair complexion the best.

Next, let's dress up for the occasion.

The formal man

"The essence of formal wear is style with a subtle hint of charisma. Don't let mismatched shoes, socks, belt and tie ruin your suave look," says stylist Kapil Sharma.

~ Jackets

If you decide to wear a jacket without a tie, ensure your shirt collar is not of the button-down variety (where the collar is buttoned to the body of the shirt).

Jackets sans ties go better with covered button joints. This means the buttons should preferably be covered by an extra layer of cloth so they are not visible -- it gives a more sophisticated look.

~ Suits

Ideally you should have three single-breasted suits -- in blue, grey and stripes.

The striped one should be less conservative as opposed to the first two.

~ Shirts

A plain collared shirt works well with a double-breasted suit.

Button-down shirts look best with single-breasted jackets.

The standard collar that is not a pinned down is the most versatile; it can be worn with both sporty and formal suits.

~ Socks

Match your socks with the colour of your suit or trousers, not your shoes or shirt.

Socks in darker shades are always a good idea. If you are not planning to wear socks, stick to loafers; don't forget to dust your feet with foot powder.

~ A blazer -- a good buy?

Yes, indeed. A navy blue blazer is easy to coordinate. It complements blue, black and grey trousers and can dress up a variety of shirts.

It can also be worn over jeans, khakis or a pair of checked trousers.

~ Trousers

Your trousers should be long enough to cover your legs, loose enough to fit and stylised enough to cover the defects of your anatomy.

They should be long enough to break on your shoes and cover your socks.

It's party time

As the weekend arrives, so does your opportunity to party. Make sure you are dressed right and don't look flashy.

At the same time, be adventurous. Don't limit your party wardrobe to just black.

Designer Andy Rodrigues says, "Going to a club or a party is about making sure the clothes fit right and feel good. The idea is to be casual, yet classy. A striped shirt (like the one mentioned below) is the perfect example."

~ Heading for a nightclub?

Then a bold triple-stripe pattern shirt (not your typical banker's shirt, eh?) would look great.

Another option would be an open collared shirt with a rounded bottom, with very thin stripes.

It should preferably be made from 100 percent viscose, which is the most common type of rayon.

It breathes like cotton and can be woven to feel like linen -- this will help you beat the heat of the nightclub!

Team it with a stylish pair of jeans for a comfortable, trendy look. But, whatever you wear it with, don't tuck your shirt in.

~ Go classic

Nothing can be more classic than a white T-shirt teamed with a pair of blue jeans.

The T-shirt should be V-necked and have a slim cut. Needless to say it should not be transparent, though translucent is okay.

Team it either with denims or a rich-looking pair of leather pants or the latest pair of designer jeans. Again, don't tuck your shirt/ T-shirt in.

~ Got a hot bod?

So, you have the body to flaunt but want to be subtle about it? A tight black top is a very reliable choice, preferably made from pima cotton (it's very soft and will let your body breathe throughout the heat of the night).

The raw edge crewneck (round-collared and a little on the tighter side) gives it that extra fashionable touch.

Whether you choose to combine it with jeans, leather pants or chinos (comfy pants made from cotton twill fabric), dressy shoes or sneakers, this fitted black shirt is extremely versatile.

~ For a dressier look

Opt for a pair of flat-front trousers, made from lightweight wool -- they offer a luxurious texture.

A button-down shirt, fancy belt and slick pair of dressy shoes and you are ready to rock.

~ Accessorise

Silver is considered dressier when it comes to jewellery, belt buckles, etc, and works best with navy, blue, black or grey, while gold matches brown, olive, and other earth colours.

~ Casual, yet cool

If it's a launch party at that new disco or a house party at your rich friend's penthouse, let your wild side take over.

Team a dark blue pair of weathered jeans with a black shirt; keep the neck open to show off your beaded neckwear.

You could also team a pair of linen pants with a short kurta and open footwear. The idea is to be as comfortable as possible and not look too made up.

The semi-formal look

You've got a party to attend and it's not exactly a formal do. But it's not a casual affair either.

A thumb rule: don't make the error of dressing too casual.

~ Ideally, team a blazer or jacket with denims; however, don't team this ensemble with sneakers.

~ Never wear floaters or open footwear.

~ T-shirts are a big no-no.

"A good combination would be a pair of beige cotton pants or beige corduroys with a dark brown shirt or a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and a black jacket," says Bhavi.

Whatever the occasion, you are now ready to rock!

Fifty Cool Facts!

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:09:47 +0530

Fifty Cool Facts!

1] If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side

[2] If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

[3] Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

[4] Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

[5] The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.

[6] The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

[7] The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

[8] The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

[9] Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

[10] Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

[11] Dalmatians are born without spots.

[12] Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

[13] The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings] or 'against' (in criminal proceedings]

[14] Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left

[15] The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids

[16] The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee

[17] Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks

[18] The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones

[19] Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die

[20] Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

[21] The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate

[22] When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red

[23] When Hippos are upset, their sweat turns red

[24] The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor

[25] The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney

[26] Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

[27] Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan

[28] It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it

[29] The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples

[30] There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower

[31] The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

[32] Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death

[33] It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body

[34] The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

[35] Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game

[36] The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air

[37] Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die

[38] In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling.)

[39] Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

[40] The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot

[41] Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

[42] The average person laughs 13 times a day

[43] Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

[44] Women blink nearly twice as much as men

[45] German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog

[46] Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump

[47] Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

[48] Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death

[49] If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

[50] The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

Rules women should know!

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:06:25 +0530

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

2. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

3. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Ask for what you want! Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. A headache that lasts for 11 months is a problem. See a doctor.

9. Check your oil! Please. You always know when you're out of food to cook.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

12. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway, it's genetic.

13. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus and Marco Polo did not need directions, and neither do we.

16. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.... and quit whining to your girlfriends.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And, we have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will be scratched.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway).

24. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

25. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Tomorrow Can Be Too Late!

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 18:57:04 +0530

Tomorrow Can Be Too Late!

If you're mad at someone, and nobody's there to fix the situation...
You fix it. May be today, that person still wants to be your friend.
And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know....
tell her/him. May be today, that person is also in love with you. And if you
don't say it, tomorrow can be too late.

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you... tell
her/him. May be that person has always loved you. And if you don't tell
her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug from a friend... ask her/him for it. May be they need
it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can
be too late.

If you really have friends whom you appreciate... tell them. May be they
appreciate you as well. If you don't and they leave or go far away
today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them how much u love... do
it. May be you have them there to show them how you feel. If you
don't and they leave u today, and then tomorrow can be too late.